Someone I Miss by Debra Foreman

                         

            I miss my mother so much word can’t express how I am truly feeling.  Arlesia Foreman, my mother, left this journey in the year of 1991, and the world as I knew it changed forever. The whole family structure was different after her death, and there was no one to fit it. I remember when I turned sixteen and my mother Arlesia brought me my first gown. It was yellow and so beautiful, just right for me the princess Debra, for my sweet sixteen birthday party at Auntie Ruby’s house. Remembering when she made us real ice cream from her hands not a store makes me miss her so much. I was the first girl in my whole family to have a sweet sixteen party, my mother was so beautiful and loving to me, and she was so special to me as well. Arlesia was a strong, wise woman of God who put Psalm 23 into our lives; we knew that Jesus was our Lord and Savior. Writing is hard for me as I am sad at this moment eyes watering but grateful for God allowing Arlesia to be my mother and give me all she had herself. My mother was very active in the community.  She was a maid who worked at different hotels throughout the state of Michigan. She was the treasurer for her church and our community neighborhood board in Woodbridge Historical District. She was trusted by everyone and was the true power of love in my family and community. That’s why it was so hard when she got sick because it not only affects the family it also affected the community where we lived and our church.

                     Life changed in a moment. I remember when my mother got sick when she had to have surgery. I couldn’t believe it at first because she raised us on healthy living always giving her children fresh food. She said we could not have a microwave because she believed it caused problems, so to hear the doctors say that she had cancer it was unreal to me. “The devil is a liar,” I said. Arlesia was one of nine children born to my grandparents. While it was happening my life was turning around, and I couldn’t stop it. I needed help to understand why God would allow this to happen to one who loved him more than life itself.

          My siblings and I went to the hospital to decide what we were going to do now and how to move forward to make things comfortable for our mother. She was in stage 4 cancer when the doctor performed surgery and the cancer spread through her body.  I was so upset because it happened so fast. The family, my eleven sisters and brothers, decided to bring our mother home because she didn’t want to leave this world from a hospital, but at home. She would talk to us; telling us to never allow a doctor to cut on you if there is something there because all you do is get worse not better.

           One day, my mom was talking to me and said to me that she was tired and asked if I could please tell my sister and brother to let her go. She had been hanging on for them, but the time had come for her to leave us. Tears began to fall from my face at that moment as they do now as I am writing these words on paper. I had to tell my siblings what mom had asked me to do, and this was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I knew my mother was dying and I couldn’t stop it.  I had always been told by her that I was the strong one and could do anything I wanted in life, but this was out of my hands and I didn’t understand why. One day when I was working doing nails, my sister Yvette called and said that mom was not breathing. I stopped, paused, and had to breathe for a moment. I realized that my mother Arlesia was gone and my sister needs me right now.

       This was a very hard time for all of us because we had to let mom go back to God. This was when I understood the strength my mother was always talking about. I did my mother’s make up because she didn’t wear that stuff, and I didn’t want her to look made up. I also did my mother’s nails and hair. This experience started me taking care of my family after their passing. I really miss my mother, and I am so truly grateful that Arlesia was my mother. What a blessing she was in my life. I love my mother.